Whole Hearted

As of lately I have had a few things on my heart. This event, or rather, this process began while I was in India last spring and I have been remembering the event more often as of late. I remember a day that our team broke off into intercession groups. Our goal in this group was nothing more than to see what was on God's heart and what He wanted us to pray for. Usually during these prayer times God gives us specific countries or people groups to pray for, however, this one session was proving to be much different.
As each person began to share what they felt God had told them I realized God was going to once again prove his unpredictability. Mikey our group leader began to share what God had spoken to him. It was the scene from a book called "The Shack" by William Paul Young. The scene where Mack and Papa are behind the waterfall and Papa is showing Mack his beloved daughter Missy and through this scene a healing came to Mack. He found after this encounter that " the great sadness" that was ruling his life was no longer there. No longer a part of Him. Mikey also said, that whatever Tabitha speaks is going to be the key in this intercession time. Here we all turned to Tabitha. She got a picture of this beautiful violin that was being played, and it made such beautiful music. Then she got the picture of the violin again and it was beautiful still, however this time there were no strings on it. The Violin was still beautiful but with out the strings it could not make the music it was intended to make. Then Meg got a picture of a river/waterfall. Rebecka got a bible verse 1 john 1:5.
Walking in the light
This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all.
God had given me the words "Let Go". Hannah Got a turtle Egg with a turtle hatching, and Valarie Got the Word Healing. All pretty random, so we went back to God. After a few minutes we went around the room again.. Mikey wanted to Go last.... Tabitha Got a stem with sunflowers on it. The sun flowers were all beautiful to look at except one. That one was rotted and decayed. Meg and Hannah saw a single star. Rebeka and Valarie felt that God had told them that the healing was for some one in the room. I kept seeing the words first love and revelations 2:4-5.
Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken your first love. Remember the height from which you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first. If you do not repent, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place.
Finally Mikey's turn came. He said "that the healing was for some one in the room and he had that persons name, However God did not want him to share the name of that person. That particular person had to know that the healing was for them and they had to be the one to receive it. There are two in this room it is for but he only had one name. So, we waited for God to show us who. The whole time I had this crazy knot in my stomach and I just wanted to burst into tears. I kept thinking however, "no it isn't me. I am just on rebound from the emotional day I had yesterday. I bet it is for Meg because I know Meg is struggling with a lot of the same stuff I am". As soon as I finished this thought Meg began to speak . " OK so at first I thought that the healing was for me because I have been struggling, but then I thought that was wrong and this is really for Crystal because she has been struggling with a lot also." as soon as she finished speaking I told her that I had been thinking the exact same thing but in reverse. Next Rebecka and Valarie Jumped in. "Oh my goodness I totally thought it was for Meg and Crystal." This is where we all turned and looked at Mikey because he was the only one who had a name. "O.k. I did get that this healing was for two people in this room. Crystal You were the name I got. Mikey continued. " Just so you know this is pretty awesome because we asked the God of the Universe specifically what was on his heart and what He wants us to pray for. God could have asked us to pray for starving Kids in Indonesia, But God's heart was for you." We had to end there because we ran out of time and needed to rejoin the rest of the team. Though I did meet with leaders later I never did fully grasp or understand what it was God wanted to heal in me. There was still a block in place somewhere in my heart that had yet to be removed. I left this memory in India and didn't think much about it again until recently.
Lately I seemed to be struggling with what it means to truly be in love with God. I found myself thinking that my heart was bad. The true meaning of what God did for me really didn't matter. Someone who loves God would have a complete passion for righteousness, conviction for sin no matter how small, compassion for people: even those considered unlovable, and a desire to to spend time with the one who gave it all for me. These were things I lacked. My quiet times had become a check on the to do list rather than a time to hear God and to love on Him. In short I really didn't want to spend time with Him at all. There were some compromises that I had been allowing in my life that I realized I didn't feel convicted for at all. Emotionally nothing was there. I wasn't sure what to do or even how to ask God to help me. Somehow, even though I felt nothing, I still wanted God more than anything I wanted to know what was wrong with my heart. I wanted to be fully alive and free in Him. I wanted to make sure He really was truly speaking to me and that I could still hear him. After some recent set backs I wasn't sure I was.
During a quiet time one night I came across a verse in Joel

Joel 2:12-14 (New International Version)

Rend Your Heart
"Even now," declares the LORD, "return to me with all your heart, with fasting and weeping and mourning." Rend your heart and not your garments. Return to the LORD your God, for he is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love, and he relents from sending calamity. Who knows? He may turn and have pity and leave behind a blessing— grain offerings and drink offerings for the LORD your God.

When I first read that my thoughts were: " That's what I want God, to feel so convicted when I sin that it brings me to tears in repentance before You and never turn back to it." From then on I began to pray for God to stir up the emotions in me. To help me find what blocks were in place in my heart that were keeping me from truly feeling as I needed to feel toward God, Towards people, towards sin, towards righteousness.
As I sat in Barnes and nobles the other day reading a few books and talking to God something suddenly broke inside my spirit. I began to remember past events that were still hard for me. Things people had said that hurt me terribly. I began to tear up right there in the book store. The memories kept playing on in my head. Memories from when I was a child. Memories from high school, and more recent memories from my adult life. The memories that left me with deep wounds of abandonment, worthlessness, fear and distrust. The wounds that I was keeping from God. The wounds that were setting up a wall between us. The tears continued to well up inside me. " God these things hurt why do I have to remember them." Then I knew. God didn't speak it. The heavens didn't open up. Angels didn't begin to dance and sing around me. I simply felt it. God was showing me everything in my heart He wanted to heal. Everything that He had wanted to heal back in India during our intercession time, and back when I first knew Him. I had set band aids all over these wounds. However God didn't come to give me a band aid. He came that I might have life and live it to the full (John 10:10). I finally understood what God had been trying to show me for so long. " O.k God, these are the areas You want to heal in me. What do You want me to do?" "Just let me in." came the simple response. Seeing some of these areas finally brought tears of repentance for things that I did and things I was doing. Along with that came forgiving and choosing to trust those whom I had, without realizing it, chosen not to ever trust and not to forgive. Later that Night God gave me these verses in the book of Isaiah

5 Why should you be beaten anymore? Why do you persist in rebellion? Your whole head is injured, your whole heart afflicted. From the sole of your foot to the top of your head there is no soundness— only wounds and welts and open sores, not cleansed or bandaged or soothed with oil. Isaiah 1:5-6 (New International Version)


The Branch of the Lord
2 In that day the Branch of the LORD will be beautiful and glorious, and the fruit of the land will be the pride and glory of the survivors in Israel. 3 Those who are left in Zion, who remain in Jerusalem, will be called holy, all who are recorded among the living in Jerusalem. 4 The Lord will wash away the filth of the women of Zion; he will cleanse the bloodstains from Jerusalem by a spirit [a] of judgment and a spirit [b] of fire. 5 Then the LORD will create over all of Mount Zion and over those who assemble there a cloud of smoke by day and a glow of flaming fire by night; over all the glory will be a canopy. 6 It will be a shelter and shade from the heat of the day, and a refuge and hiding place from the storm and rain. Isaiah 5:2-6

The True Vine
1 “I am the true vine, and My Father is the vinedresser. 2 Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit He takes away;[a] and every branch that bears fruit He prunes, that it may bear more fruit. 3 You are already clean because of the word which I have spoken to you. 4 Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me.
5 “I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing. 6 If anyone does not abide in Me, he is cast out as a branch and is withered; and they gather them and throw them into the fire, and they are burned. 7 If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, you will[b] ask what you desire, and it shall be done for you. 8 By this My Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit; so you will be My disciples. John 15:1-8 (New King James Version)

There it is I am the branch. God was seeking to make me beautiful and glorious. With no wounds, and no scars. A brand new creation. And I cannot Gain that without him. " Not by might nor by power, but by my spirit says the Lord God almighty." (Zachariah 4:6). I am no where near finished in this area. But for once I look forward to the journey getting there, and look forward to seeing what God does when and while the restoration in completed.

Thank You God for the good heart you have given and placed in me. for taking this heart of stone and giving me a heart of flesh. I thank you God because I know that in me you are going to restore me and make me whole. Continue to stir up a fire of passion in my heart. Consume me. Ruin me For the ordinary. Mold me into something pure, something that is a reflection of You.

Stepping of the plane four weeks ago was like jumping off a cliff for me I had no idea what I had gotten myself into. I found myself here in Delhi India. Buildings were jammed one on top of the other holes in the wall were either makeshift stores or someone’s home. It was hard to tell in some places more than others. The streets were jammed with traffic, and I quickly learned that all the traffic lines and stop lights meant absolutely nothing here in this city. It makes every taxi ride a thrill seeking adventure. Only here will you find a moped, industrial truck, car, bus and rickshaw driving in the same lane. Every morning before breakfast I go up to the balcony on the fourth floor of the house we are staying in and I watch the city in prayer. There is a school below us where I can see the children playing, or watch and occasional cricket game (Still trying to figure out the point of that game). I can hear the prayers of the Hindu temple being sung over a loud speaker, and watch the vendors come by selling anything from fresh fruits and veggies to children’s toys and ice cream. The thought never failing always comes to me: These are Gods people; they are a beautiful people created with such a devotion to worship and a deep rooted value of tradition. The thought of bringing an entire generation in this nation into a relationship with Jesus Christ actually overwhelms me. An entire generation, is that possible? We are so few. God always reminds me. It starts with one.

My team and I are now half way through our Outreach here in India. Our days are filled with intercession, team building, and ministry. We have divided our team into four different ministry groups that rotate every Four weeks. Team A and Team B’s ministry focus as of now is Friendship Evangelism (this is the team I am serving with). We go to the campus of Delhi University everyday and make friends with the students there as well as share with them the message of Christ Jesus. We also Hang out and serve in a local Christian owned Coffee House where we teach students English, give guitar lessons or just develop friendships as well as serve food and drinks. Every Tuesday at this coffee house we invite people we meet to a church service. So far our team has been leading these services. I lead the worship, someone will preach and we do some of our dances and dramas. Then we pray for the students. Every Thursday at the coffee house is an open mic night students come and play and sing for us I have been asked to always have two songs prepared. I will say that this trip has been a stretch in my leadership, as well forced me to overcome some fears that have been holding on to me a long time.

Team C goes to different slum schools and teaches English the children. We sing praise and worship with them, we pray with them, they pray for us, and we tell them bible stories. The slums are where the poorest of the poor live and there are so many of them. You can often see people here in Delhi either sleeping on the side of the road or living in a poorly made home that consists of one room for five people and a dirt floor. The schools are not much better. A tiny room can be used to jam in 50 or so students.

I have so many stories I could tell you but for now I will just stick with one. Every Tuesday and Thursday morning our team goes out to make friends in the neighborhood the first day we did this I was scared and didn’t really want to Go. However I went. My partner was a girl from Switzerland named Seleana, as we walked along we past a lot of people but never actually stopped to talk to any one. At around 11:00 thirty minutes before we were to return home we sat in the park and discussed the whole meeting people and evangelism thing. Through this we both realized we needed to repent because we had passed so many people and so many opportunities. As we sat there we began to pray and we repented before God about our bad attitudes and for not being bold in doing what he had asked. We asked that though we only had a little time left He would still use us and bring a new friend to us. No sooner had we said “Amen” when a girl walked into the park waved at us and then came and sat down next to us on the benches we occupied. Her name was Mina. She didn’t speak English, and we didn’t speak Hindi, but we were able to exchange names and things. She left soon after. I felt amazed at Gods immediate response to our prayer, and thankful for the lesson I learned through it.

There are many strong holds here in this city and I would ask that as we pray against them as a team that you would lift them up in prayer as well. There are strongholds of anger, lust, depression, pride, Immorality, and idolatry. Also please keep our team in prayer. I can tell you that there is a heaviness over this city and it is hard to press in and hear from God most of the time. However we still are pressing in and trusting God for divine appointments and salvation for the people. He has given us many thus far and we are praying for even more in the coming weeks. Our team’s health needs to be lifted in prayer also, for as many that are going out there seems to be the same amount home sick. I myself have been in bed for almost three days now with a stomach flue of some sort along with several others of my roommates. Thanks so much for your prayers and support. I am so excited for the new stories I will have the next time I get to write to all of you!

BUILDING HIS KINGDOM,

CRYSTAL HUFF

INDIA

Hey Guys just letting you know i made it here safe and sound to india... there is an internet cafe right around the corner so i will be able to keep you updated often.... love you guys and i wil;l have time alter to fill you in more on what is happening here.....

What do you do when the rain is pouring down, and a bus that is supposed to be keeping you dry begins leak and drench you in freezing cold rain? ANSWER: Find a way to keep the rain out of the bus.
Last week our D.T.S along with several other Youth With A Mission (YWAM) teams had the opportunity to go to the YWAM South East Conference in Talledega Alabama. This conference brought together all the YWAM bases in the South East district of the United States. There we had the opportunity to hear from and amazing speaker by the name of Winkey Pratney, who challenged us with the phrase “What in the world are you doing for heavens sake.” That week also allowed us times of powerful and passionate worship and intercession. These times brought together 300 people to intercede on behalf of issues and nations all around the world. It was an amazing thing to experience. What does this have to do with a leaky bus?
On the way home from this conference it was a very rainy, very cold day. We had thirty two people, plus luggage crammed into this bus for a thirteen hour ride back home to Orlando. About an hour after we began our trip the bus begins to leak rain from the ceiling, and from the windows. The result: a very cold and soggy group of YWAMers. This combined with tiredness, left so much room for complaints, bad moods, and words that would have been regretted later. However the complete opposite happened. The mood on the bus was actually very light and full of motivation. “ the bus is leaking let’s fix it!” So after a quick stop to pick up some duct tape we began the best team work experience I have ever had. Taking our duct tape and five plastic bags we began to make a canopy to catch all the rain so we could keep dry! I am so excited to be going to India with this team of people. After the bus experience I know that whatever comes our way, as a team we will go into it full force and without complaint. In exactly three weeks will be heading out to India, New Delhi to be exact. None of us really knows what to expect when we get there. We are praying that God would Use us in magnificent ways. Please continue praying for us as we prepare to step even farther out of our comfort zones and into the unknown. I am so thankful for all of your prayers and support. I cannot tell you enough how thankful I am that God and you have allowed me this
opportunity!

Building His Kingdom,

Crystal Huff

It starts with one

...One word spoken
One life changed
One prayer offered
One Soul Saved.....
~Crystal Huff~

It starts with one... I have to admit that often during my day when I feel God leading me to do something, I will almost always talk myself out of it. Things like this often go through my head: "God didn't tell me that. I think that idea was for someone else, not me. I heard God wrong, I'm too scared, I'm too shy, I'm irrelevant, they won't listen anyway." That thought train came screeching to a halt a few days ago as I prayed and heard God speaking quietly to me the phrase "It Starts With One." It came at the perfect moment when I was almost complaining to God about a vision I feel he has given me. I was asking the questions "where do you even begin with this kind of vision. Do I have to capacity to do this thing you are laying on my heart?" Then there it was "It starts with one." Then I had to ask "Does it start with me?" I knew the answer before I could even finish thinking the thought. It starts with me. It starts with You.

I see the cry,
Imagine, I can
The city's strong holds
Drugs, Witchcraft, complacency,
Are trampled, broken, and defeated
Cancer, Depression, And suicide
Have fled, no longer gripping the lives of so many

The students have risen up
Mighty worriers of prayer and praise
They will not remain silent
I will not remain silent
They will run when You say move
They will rise up at the sound of Your call
They will wait when You say "be still'
They will Follow as You lead
The walls are broken
The barrier breached
The fire is blazing
Your love is reigning
Your hope is here
The mountains will tremble
Springs of living water will burst in the desert places.
An outpouring of Your spirit
and it starts with One.
One word spoken
One life changed
One prayer offered
One Soul Saved.

Imagine? I Can

Blogger: The Me Update - Create Post

This is how God showed His love among us....
1 John 4:9

“What would you have me share about the ministry you are doing here?” Is what I am asking God as I sit here staring at my computer screen. Outside the sun is shining it’s a beautiful afternoon. There is a group of boys outside skate boarding in the street. I can hear the sound of their laughter from where I sit. I am in my house here in Orlando. A house that for the moment I share with six other girls. I was very nervous the first few days I was here. All the random thoughts go running through your head. “ Will my house mates like me? Will I like them? Will we be able to live together peacefully? Why do I suddenly feel like I am in JR.High again?” As the first week ran into the second, and the second became the third I began to realize an amazing thing. I am here doing a school with twenty seven other students. Each student came here with very different family, and religious backgrounds. Also with different agendas. Now I see twenty seven students who without realizing it have bonded and formed a single unit with one goal in mind: “To know God, and to make Him known.”
The last four weeks have taken me on an incredible journey, a journey through my own heart and what I really believe. I have been challenged to dive further into God and who God says I am, as well as challenged to embrace the true character and depth of God’s overwhelming Love. In fact I believe God has out right challenged me to live a life of love: unconditional, unlimited, and absolute .
1 John 4:7-10 says: God Is Love, My beloved friends, let us continue to love each other since love comes from God. Everyone who loves is born of God and experiences a relationship with God. The person who refuses to love doesn't know the first thing about God, because God is love—so you can't know him if you don't love. This is how God showed his love for us: God sent his only Son into the world so we might live through him. This is the kind of love we are talking about—not that we once upon a time loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to clear away our sins and the damage they've done to our relationship with God.
This is the life I am setting out to live.
For the next two months I, along with the other YWAM students and staff members will be learning, dramas, dances, and techniques that will help us convey the message of Jesus Christ to the people in India. Along with learning these things I have been given the opportunity to lead and prepare a worship team to lead our team during our times of worship while in India. This team will also be doing praise and worship for the children we will meet while in the mission field.
I am so excited for this and at the same time completely nervous, but I know God is so faithful and will guide me as I look to Him. I love you all so much and I cannot tell you enough how thankful I am for your prayers and support. I would like to take a moment to ask if you would pray for some specific things that God has shown us. As a team we are praying and asking God to help us stay united, to break down the walls of pride, give us energy and strength that we would not be fatigued, to lean not on our own understanding but seek God first in everything. We are coming against unbelief , strife and division, and fear and distrust. Pray that God will open doors for us to minister in ways that people will hear , know and understand. God is doing an amazing work here in me and in this team. I am so blessed for this tremendous opportunity. I will keep you updated as often as I am able. Again thank you so much for your prayers and support.

Building His Kingdom,

Crystal Huff


(Top left pic are the girls I live with also my house parents Barbara and Marni)
(Bottom right pic is my small group girls)